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* _ .: | -Camille- | :. _ *
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[14 Oct 2004|05:59pm] |
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new livejournal.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _there_she_goes
comment to be added. =)
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| sigh. |
[22 Jul 2004|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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hold my hand. i might get lost.
will we still be friends in high school?
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[10 Jul 2004|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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yes?
talk to me.
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| ripped jeans and stained skirt, that's the way she likes to flirt |
[30 Jun 2004|09:10pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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music |
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she will be loved - Maroon 5 |
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omg i saw spiderman 2 today. it was totally awesome. i was so excited. people go see it even if you aren't into that super hero stuff.. it's pretty cool actually and i think i'm gonna start reading comics again.. sure, call me a nerd. no worries.
Some people search for a fountain
The promise is forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that’s the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share with no one who truly cares for me...
Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all..If it ain't you baby, if I ain't got you baby. Some people want diamond rings, some just want everything. But everything means nothing...If I ain't got you.
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| i woke up. and the only thing i remembered was your smile. |
[26 Jun 2004|04:45pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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i have no contact with the outside world. i have no idea why i made a new screen name when AIM doens't even work for me. i am stupid. well...add faint xkisss
so. this is what i hoped for. waking up at ten not eating till one, then watching reruns of i love lucy and glancing at the oh so entertaining music videos of mtv and watching the never boring newleyweds, and then by nine eating leftovers since nobody never bothers to cook for me. (thanks mom.) so bored. then on to the fun computer checking my email and my livejournal, even though no one comments, and then...i read. but really, it's actually fun.
oh-my-god. i have no life. and no friends since they (not particularly you) don't bother to even call and say hi...none-the-less make plans. hmm. maybe they don't know my phone number? or they can't reach me without AIM? eh. maybe. well it's true.. it's sorta boring to invite little camille, who can't ride the cool rides since she's like only this tall and her overprotective father limits her social life, and maybe she's just too embarrassing to have around. ha shut up all of you. you know it's true. oh hey that rhymes!
oh save me.
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| me, miss out on the fun? yes way. |
[20 Jun 2004|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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i saw harry potter and shrek. good movies. i got a digital camera from my dad a few days ago. ^-^ happy day. i have to learn how to transfer pictures to the computer now ...
well his party was on friday. missed it. i guess it was for the best. but i wanted to see everyone. and ...him. but if i came to him face-to-face, would i have been able to handle breaking down and just spill it out? well i did it over the phone when he called to ask me why i couldn't come. ha! like he actually cared. but maybe it was a sign...nature just lead me away from coming to his party so i would be able to get over him. and hopefully, in high school i'll forget about him. his words kept ringing in my head : "well...i gotta go now. so i'll see you...never, again...bye." click. and to think i was about to cry. but no guy is worth your tears, right? i guess so. well he won't be around anymore to give me all these tormenting feelings. i should probably shut up now and not talk about this stuff ever again since there is nothing anyone can do
thanks to some technical dificulties, my AIM is in disorder. so...no chatting for me. can you people comment and leave your phone numbers? um..ya...well i could always look at my yearbook. but thanks again to some misplaced behavior, it is gone..
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| *sniff* |
[17 Jun 2004|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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so sad. today was the day. i was already snifflin' when denise started reading her wonderful speech. everyone looked SO gorgeous in their dresses. and the guys looked spiffy. ^-^ well um i'm gonna miss all of you...so much. until snow comes in june, or when lies become the truth, or when courtney's not my moma bitch anymore...or when angela stops being so damn beautiful. that's when i'll stop missing you people. will you miss me?
**i wanted to tell him.. how i felt when he was near, how every night i prayed that he would talk to me, how i always thought of him everyday. but i never saw him. i never got the chance to say my last goodbye. and now he's gone. if i was just able turn back time...then.. at least he would know. i wish i didn't lie to him that day. because i wanted to tell him the truth--that he was still my everything.
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| I finally came to see the true person that you really are. |
[13 Jun 2004|07:09pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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here we go again. back to being the little fish in the big ocean...high school, i mean. after climbing up to the top of the middle school empire, i am back at the bottom...and i'll probably stay there for quite a while. it's gonna get intense. and i thought this was drama. ha! four years of making up your reputation, poor grades, and for some...detention... endless nights with no dates, mailboxes empty of party invitations, witnessig girls who are pregnant, gangs, being shoved, pushed, laughed, mocked, teased at. and yet...i don't care. because it was bound to happen again sooner or later. and i know how'll it end. i just hope the plots don't take an unexpected turn.
dance tomorrow. who's going?
pshychoCOW hehe: i should bring alcohol so it'll be fun either way lol jk
Butturfli 27: lol ... i hope there's a lotta punch so i can avoid dancing and drink five cups every five minutes
psychoCOW hehe: if you don't dance imma pull you on the dance floor with me!
Butturfli 27: hehe ... well that's ok i can learn some moves from the one and only!
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| "every night I pray, that soon your face will fade away" |
[09 Jun 2004|09:28pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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...a war is goin on but the reason's under cover
the truth is kept secret, and swept under the rug
if you never know truth, then you never know love
i dream of a place called paradise.
got the dress. it's ...yellow. eh. i think it's too dressy. oh ya..got a haircut if you guys haven't noticed. i look so horrible. just like sixth grade...i look like my mom when she was little! and thats not good..
if you could have a magic power, what would it be?
"Wanna see some of my bling bling?" -Patrick
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| it ain't over till it's over... |
[07 Jun 2004|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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Memory - Sugarcult |
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This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagined.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same...
>> is it just me or is there a sudden jolt of yellowcard madness around<<
"Who would want to have Orlando Bloom on their crotch?" --ANA the AWE
>>Would you say the glass is half-full or half-empty? It's time that somebody said that maybe your glass is too damn big<<
♥ a penny for your thoughts?
beep!
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| i run in circles many times...but hey--at least i don't run into walls. |
[05 Jun 2004|08:50pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys |
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ahh, iced tea.
oh shit oh shit...painted house essay!! totally forgot. couple of chapters...no sweat. darn...nilab doesn't get to read her speech. she was disappointed. =[ i can't believe this. my dad's not letting me go (or i think he's not letting me go) to alex's grad party..urrrgh...what, does he think i'll do drugs and gamble? it's so hard to talk to my own dad. he turns everything against me. like, for once i get a hundred percent of my science test and all he can do is smirk. not even a "good job" or an expressionless "yay" ...and he always has to be right! i can never win. i can't wait to leave this pig pen. goodness. this is the last time i'll see my closest friends in jeans rather than a graduation dress. i can handle it...he thinks i can't. oh, life's never fair. but whatever. it's just alex's party...
yup.
ooh ya i won the BEE. yesssss.
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| went to the mall...so far...so bad. |
[01 Jun 2004|09:56pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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~ >comment about one memory you have with me and then put this in your journal and do the same < ~
i did not find the dress.
quote of the day : "he's on crack"
-matan gold on aaron alpert just being stupid
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| say it like you mean it |
[31 May 2004|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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people are fake. not everyone, but just some in general. people work so hard to create their image that they forget who they really are. and they're afraid to show their real personality so their so-called friends don't get so judgemental. so what if i'm not the the coolest person ever or i don't wear the latest fashion and i don't look like i just stepped out of the salon. and so what if i'm not really affluent and don't have high class lives like all of you. i don't know most of the lyrics to the awesome songs in the music world, let alone know the artists and bands...and stuff. i hate being a geek though. and don't comment and say that i'm not...even though you probably could care less, right? right...
the three day memorial weekend for me was boring. i guess mainly because i declined my invitation to go to san diego with my cousins.
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| I'm drowing, and the only person that can save me is you...but you won't do anything. |
[28 May 2004|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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Remember when we took strolls through the park together, and you'd whisper in my ear
"I love you."
Remember when I was down and didn't have hope you'd whisper in my ear
"I love you."
And do you remember when I was too scared to let myself go...and all you needed to say was
"I love you."
and everything was right again.
I do.
It was a long time ago, but I remember it like yesterday.
You don't.
It was my only memory of happiness.
i found out i got into taft. yay. now what? how do i find out about my classes and stuff? oh well..just wait till it happens, right?
comment ♥
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| don't turn around, cuz you're gonna see my heart breakin' |
[26 May 2004|05:15pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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Last day of tutoring today...
Him: Hey, do you still like me?
Me: *Thinks* No.
Him: Oh. When were you planning on letting me know that you didn't anymore?
Me: Um...never, actually.
Him: Well don't you think that I would like to know when I would stop liking you - um..I mean don't you think I would want to know when you would stop liking me? Whatever...
Me: I didn't think it would matter.
Him: Ahh. So, you wouldn't care if I started liking other girls? And you wouldn't feel...
Me: Feel what?
Him: Hurt.
*Pause*
Me: Nope. Even before, I didn't care whether or not you had feelings for other girls; just because I liked you didn't mean you had to like me back.
Him: Right.
Me: Yup.
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| people are such hypocrites. |
[25 May 2004|03:51pm] |
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mood |
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worried |
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ok well said i wouldn't update everyday because what i write doesn't really matter to anyone but...uh-huh.
on friday can anyone come to the movies? please comment if you wanna make plans.
oww i'm bleeding. today i got sour skittles. we won in volleyball again today and before i served, this guy named elmer on the opposing team goes: "hey look at that little girl try to serve." and then he somewhat chuckles. and when i was going to art the boy who sits next to me goes: "can i ask you something? why don't you grow?" hmm. and then i didn't know what to say. he continued on, "because i bet the next time you see me i'll be like Shaq...and you'll be as tall as..this."
he levels up his hand centimeters away from my forehead.. and nods...and smiles
well, i tried the best that i could, but i couldn't fight back the tear.
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| you like? |
[24 May 2004|08:23pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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ello. thank you alexandra for doing my layout as perfectly as it could get...and sorry if i took most of your time when you could be doing something else. i need to know how to do this kind of stuff for future el-jays.
from now on i'm only gonna talk about important stuff on my livejournal instead of just writing crap (unless i'm bored like right now)..well i don't know who i'm talking to since nobody's reading this right about now. but ya...^-^ and um...to write my so-called poem shit stuff ...
well thanks again ally ...can i call you that? because alexandra is too long to type...even though i just typed it right now...uh...ya..bye
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| there she goes again... |
[21 May 2004|10:07pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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One Call Away - Chingy |
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She sits alone in her room. Rocking back and forth...back and forth on the hardwood floor. She hears whispers, calling out her name. And she laughs at the world for continuing on. People running from life, tortured by their problems and waking up everyday, the voices of the dead ringing inside their head, "Welcome to Hell, hope you like your stay." And she feels the wind of chills. And the gentle touch of madness. And the jolt of drunken illness. Back and forth...back and forth, she goes.
talk to me.
why do people make fun of others? and why do people change their sex? and why do people do drugs and have sex and hurt themselves? tell me. so i can understand.
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| aaron makes horrible sns and thats why we hate him, right leah? |
[20 May 2004|08:54pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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music |
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I Don't Wanna Know - Mario Wayans |
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=>watching re-runs of friends. um can people tell me the truth of my graduation speech because a part of my wants to get picked...and stuff. but i don't know. because DENISE'S SPEECH WAS SO AWESOME. AND ANGELA'S TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. you guys are so good. man when de was reading hers i didnt wanna look at her because i was gonna cry. and i love you leah. you can tell me anything ok? i may be short but i'm here! >.<
=> In my last few years of Portola, I felt so alone and left out. I didn't know what to do, and I was always unsure of myself. I didn't have anough confidence. Being in 6th grade and the shortest, I was the target of every bully. All I could do was walk away. Some part of me even felt that teachers doubted me. It was at that time when I befriended my wonderful tears. People that cared for me, and accepted who I am. I could share my problems and secrets to them. There was always someone I could be able to count on. In fact, it was as though we were sharing the same dilemmas--some ore complicated then others--but we all knew where each other was coming from. And I knew that school would be easier with them because we were in this together, and still are to this very day.
=> Some of us may separate, and others, I will be seeing soon. We can all look back on our days in Portola, because this was how it started. How we came together and fought out mishaps and celebrated our joy with. Portola was our beginning, and now, it has come to a close. In the future, some of us may be part of the high classes of society, and others--well--in jail by the twelfth grade. But no matter what, our future in our hands. It is we who choose our destiny. No matter what we do, or how we want to do it.
i need something new on my el-jay. um...
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| the good times are over, and memories are all you have left |
[18 May 2004|03:18pm] |
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mood |
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gloomy |
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music |
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The Reason - Hoobastank |
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after you cut yourself, then what?
<*> ..:.. the smell of gradutation is near...boo-hoo. we're all gonna split up and go to different schools. portola is where i met my first real group of friends. and i'm gonna miss that. everyone. how angela always makes me smile. and leah always makes me giggle. and ana makes me think...and courtney brings the bad side outta me..even though that rarely happens. and being able to share gossip with suki and...and...kristiene. she's my whole world. we all have to write a graduation speech. i want to, and yet i don't. because i'm gonna get so nervous reading it in front of the whole school >if i even make it< ...let alone reading it in class without the trembling. i thought about what i was gonna say. and i have ideas..i just don't know if i can put it all together..and make it original..personal. from the heart. <*> ..:..
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you ...
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